Which, given the fact that it's been nearly two weeks since I last posted, and I haven't hardly done any posting in months other than my weekly (well, until last week) yarn along posts, might sound funny. Might even have you wondering if you want to bother to check back to this blog in the future, because there might not be anything new to read.
But actually, what I have in mind is more blogging, not less. I'm not talking about down time from this little place here (as in the blog). I'm not even talking about being at this little place here (the homestead) less often. Nope, I'm thinking more of both.
What I need, though, is some me time. Because I've been stretching myself way too thin for many, many months, and I've lost myself along the way.
What do I mean by losing myself? Well, being grumpy and unhappy. Staring at walls with a mind that is alternately blank or such a chaotic jumble I can't make heads nor tails of my thoughts. Getting downright excited when I pull in the driveway after work and see absolutely no other vehicles on my property. (There are currently eight--yes, eight!!--people in residence here, with an occasional ninth overnight and sometimes a tenth popping in for a few hours.) To be ecstatic over the prospect of being alone is not a proper thing. Nor is the feeling of massive disappointment that comes over me when I pull in from a morning at work and see that there are two or three other vehicles parked up by the garage.
I am massively overwhelmed. I'm not, by nature, a crowd-loving people person. I like my space, and I like organization and quiet. None of which I have had hardly at all this year. I can feel myself spiraling downward, and I don't like it. I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps and insist on some down time, otherwise I'm going to crash, and that won't be good. Summer is too important of a work time food-wise (gardening, canning, etc) for me to crash and be in lay-on-the-bed-lethargic mode.
So, what I want to do, what I know I need to do, is get back to blogging regularly. This blog is the place where I not only share things, but where I get my creative need to write fulfilled. I also need to get back to spending time regularly with my own horses, one of which is in her own downward spiral in terms of health (but hey, it's inevitable, she's 26 which is rather old for a horse). I need to get back to running and exercising,which I have not done since DS1 & crew moved in with us nine months ago.
Also what I need, which is not so up to me to make happen, is for the other occupants of this house to tread a little more lightly upon my space. Respect my time. Respect my system of housekeeping. Respect my food-stores, don't waste them, and replace them with similar quality items if they happen to use up all my bread, my tomato sauce, my whole milk, my real vanilla. Be the mature adults that they all should be. Well, except for the grandkids. I don't expect them to behave any more maturely than a 3yo and a just-turned 1yo can. But their parents need to guide them more, keep an eye on them more, have more patience with them, than those parents have been.
Hopefully you, Dear Reader, will be seeing more of me this month. I hope you're looking forward to that as much as I am. :0)