A Turkey Tale

We have five turkeys.  We were supposed to have four turkeys in the freezer last November and one on the table for Thanksgiving.   But the day before butchering day, me and the two DDs were in a car accident.  No one was hurt other than some seat belt bruises, but our little red car was rather crumpled on the front end and undriveable.  That made us a four-drivers-and-only-one-car family, which just didn't work well considering DH works about 35 miles away and the two teen drivers both play sports and other after school activities, all requiring transportation at varying times each day.  So instead of butchering out turkeys on butchering day, we were car shopping for something cheap (had a limited amount of cash on hand and not looking for a car loan), reliable, and available NOW!

Which meant the turkeys would have to wait.  And, truth be told, I was a little sore from the accident and didn't really feel like wrestling with 20-30 pound turkeys to get them plucked and dressed.  My back-up plan was to make them an appointment for as soon as the small local poultry processor (about 15 miles away) had an opening and just pay someone else to get my birds freezer-ready that year.

Until I found out the small local poultry processor had gone out of business.   :0(  There is not another processor within an hour's drive.  Supposedly another is opening soon, but isn't open yet.

Now it was December, and too cold to be messing around outside for hours without warm gloves on.  Warm gloves not being possible attire during the butchering process.  I decided to stick my five turkeys in the chicken coop with the chickens until the weather warmed up enough that we could process the turkeys ourselves without the risk of frostbite.

Not having raised turkeys past about 5 months old before (spring through pre-Thanksgiving butchering time), I did not realize two things:

1) How much they poop!!  Oh my goodness, that coop sure got dirty a whole lot faster once the turkeys were installed!  When I raise them in the summer they live outside with a shelter, never in a building that requires cleaning.

2) How much they eat!!  Without plants and bugs to eat in the cold, snowy, winter, they gobbled the food I put out for them and the chickens.  My poultry feed bill went way way up.

Now that spring has finally sprung, I need to find an afternoon that I have helpers available, and get my five turkeys packed off to freezer camp.  They are huge, especially the tom.  I think he's going to dress out over 40 pounds.  That's a lot of turkey!

The need to get them butchered was driven home this past Saturday.  On Friday, one of the turkey hens had decided to copy the chickens and make use of the nest boxes to lay eggs in.  She was in there when I went to gather eggs that day.  I didn't think a whole lot of it.  Until she was still there Saturday morning, and looking like she wasn't real happy to still be in that nest.  Evidentally she didn't fit--she had her entire body stuffed into the nest box, with her head sticking out the back (DH built my row of six nest boxes out of scrap lumber, so the backs are not solid, but rather have a 2-3" gap between the backside and the 'roof'), and she couldn't go in any direction.  Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera with me to get a picture of my stuck turkey, and I sure wasn't thinking about asking for it to be brought out from the house when I yelled for DS2 to come help me unstick her.

I had all ready attempted to release her myself, and it just wasn't working.  I needed another set of hands.  When DS2 arrived in the coop, rolling his eyes and wishing we didn't have birds and looking very forward to going off to college in the fall where he will not have to deal with chickens and turkeys of the avian variety, I instructed him to reach around the back of the nest box and gently push down on the turkey's head while I grabbed a leg in each hand and tried to walk her backwards out of the nest box (which has about a 2" lip on front to keep the eggs from getting knocked out).

I got both of her legs up over the lip with DS2 pushing her head (and upper body) down through the opening in the back of the nest box.  But I couldn't get her any further.  Not sure how much a full grown Bronze Turkey hen weighs, but it was enough that I wasn't making any headway trying to pull her body backwards and up over the lip of the nest. 

DS2 and I switched positions, he took the back end and the pulling, and I took the front end and stuffing through the nest box.  Except I couldn't push her far enough gently enough reaching through the back, so I had to try to put both my arms into the nest box with her, one on each side, to hold her wings down and assist in the pulling.

With several minutes of gentle pulling, slight rotating, and hugging her wings to her body, we were finally able to free her from her wooden straight-jacket.  Did she tell us how thankful she was and give us her undying gratitude?

No!  As soon as she came loose of that nest box, those huge wings unfurled and started whacking at us!  She pushed her big drumsticks against DS2's chest, and launched herself away from us.

grumble grumble. . . blasted turkey. . .  grumble grumble. . . date with destiny. . . grumble. . . turkey dinner soon. . .