Frugal February #27: Just Say No!

No to the extras.  No to the guilt trips.  No to the things you don't want to spend money on that others are trying to con you into.

Be honest, how many things do you spend time or money on because you are too nice to say "No"?  How often are you

• hit up for donations to causes you don't care about or don't want to contribute to?
• shopping for gifts you don't want to give in the first place?
• driving miles you don't want to drive to go to places you don't want to be?
• loaning money to family or friends and never getting repaid?
• buying your kids things they don't need and that they get tired of within a few weeks?

Just say "NO"!

We tell this to our kids about drinking, about drugs, about sex, about all kinds of peer pressure stuff.  But do we actually say no to the above adult peer pressure-type things?

Saying "no" is not easy, and just because you are a grown up doesn't mean the person you say no to won't be upset with you or make you feel bad for turning them down.  I doubt, however, they will hold a grudge for long.  If they do, they have bigger issues than just your little "no."

If/when money is tight for you, you have every right to say no to requests for loans, donations, gifts, and extra driving to or from events.  You are responsible for yourself and your household (which includes your spouse and children, if you have them).  You need to meet those needs first (needs, not wants, in the case of children who beg for toys, treats, etc) before you hand out money to anyone else, no matter how much they wheedle or try to play on your sympathies or lay on a guilt trip.

If you are in a position where you have some extra cash that you would like to help someone else with, do it with forethought.  Determine the amount you have available to spend in that manner, and whom it will go to.  You can make charitable contributions, you can give out loans, you can give gifts, just do it according to the guidelines you have set up.  Then stop when you reach the end of your extra funds.  Don't feel bad about telling a bleeding heart phone caller that you're sorry, but you have all ready reached the limit of your charity for this year.  Don't feel bad about telling cousin Billy Bob (who never paid you back the last three loans you gave him) that the bank of you has closed down.

Or, alternately, do what DH and I finally learned to do after a few unrepaid loans to relatives: give the loan, but take collateral in return, and get it in writing.  That was how DH got his snowmobile--a loan to a relative we knew most likely wouldn't get repaid.  DH had been thinking about buying a snowmobile, and the relative asking us for money had one that was going to be put up for sale if he didn't find a source of cash fast.  So DH offered to make the loan, taking the snowmobile as collateral.  The deal was that if the loan was fully repaid within twelve months,  the relative got the snowmobile back.  If the relative chose not to repay the loan, DH would keep the snowmobile.

It's your money.  You probably worked pretty hard for it.  Don't let anyone make you feel bad for not forking out cash to their causes if you don't have the funds to, or the desire to. Contribute where you want, not where you don't.