Thursday, May 22, 2014

I am a Chicken Racist

I have never in my life claimed to be politically correct.  I try not to purposely make comments that are in attack of other people, or their beliefs.  But that doesn't mean I am PC.  Far from it.  I was just taught that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.  So as to not be hurtful, I often just keep my mouth shut.  I do have opinions on pretty much every issue under the sun, and those opinions are often strong.

But this post isn't about abortion, or gay rights, or women's rights, or animal rights, or equal opportunity employment, or equal opportunity education, or any of that stuff.

This post is about a realization I had this week.  I realized that I am a Chicken Racist.

It's true.  I am.  I am unabashedly a Chicken Racist.

I have had many different breeds of chickens in the last eleven years.  After the first year or two, I purposely started getting chicks of breeds I currently didn't have in my flock, to make it easier at culling time to tell the old hens from the young ones.  I have had Leghorns, and Rocks of every color, Buff Orpingtons, Brahmas, Easter Eggers, Dominiques, Speckled Sussex, Hamburgs, Silver Penciled Wyandottes and Gold Penciled Wyandottes, Lakenvelders, Anconas, ISA Browns, New Hampshire Reds and breeds I cannot even recall at the moment.

Some of those breeds I vowed I would never own again, due to their stupidity.  They were the flightiest damn chickens, constantly nervous and panicking at the slightest little thing.  Sometimes doing themselves bodily harm flying into walls in a blind panic just because I entered the coop to refill their waterer.

Other breeds could have cared less if a tornado came and whipped them up into the sky, coop and all.  In fact, one time a big storm did blow over my portable shelter that the chicks live in between leaving the brooder and moving into the big coop with the grown ups.  That particular batch of chicks happily wandered around the vicinity of their upside down home until I came and righted it, rounded them up (fairly easily, as herding chickens goes), and closed them safely behind chicken wire again.

Anyway, the revelation I had which led me to confessing my bigotry towards certain chickens, is that all the white egg laying chickens I've had (as opposed to those that lay brown eggs or green/blue eggs) have been the dumb-ass neurotic ones.  It didn't matter which breed they were, be it Leghorn or Ancona or Lakenvelder or. . . whatever else I've had.  If it laid white eggs, it was inferior in common sense to a chicken that laid eggs with colored shells.

So, there you have it.  I don't like chickens that lay white eggs.  I'm a Chicken Racist.  A hater.  Now the PC society can brand me as a horrible person.

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