A Pocket Full of Shells

 (My apologies if you will now have "Bulls on Parade" running through your head the remainder of the day).

This month, DH and I took our first family vacation in probably twenty years.  I know we didn't take one in 2007, the year DS1 graduated from high school, and the next year he was in the Marine Corps when we took the other three kids out to Oregon and back roadtripping to (and from) the family reunion hosted by DH's second youngest aunt. So it's been twenty years, or maybe even 21, since DH, I and all four of our children (and population exploded family) went away together on vacation.

We (DH & I) have talked about doing this for a long time, especially in the last several years.  Then, in 2025, on the flight back from taking K3 and Toad to Sedona over Spring Break, DH asked the two of them for ideas of places we could all go on vacation together in the future.  K3 said "The beach!"  Specifically she was thinking of Myrtle Beach, where we had taken her and Toad back in 2022, and her alone way back in 2015 (which she couldn't remember that trip because she was only 3 at the time.)

Which was how this family vacation went from concept to reality in 2026.  DH. Me.  Our four kids.  Their spouses (and DD2s current boyfriend [whom I really do need to assign a blog name to because he's looking more and more like a lifer]).  Nine grandkids (Two-EEs daughter Cowgirl didn't come; at 17 and having been living with her father and step-mother for the last few years she has in the past 8 months or so decided she doesn't 'need' her mother or that side of the family.)  Myrtle Beach.  Four days, three nights, lodging for everyone covered by DH and I. (They were on their own for food, transportation and activity expenses.)

It was chaotic.  I mean, is it even possible for anything involving 19 people, 9 of them children, to not be chaotic?  It was often loud. (NINE children!)  Was it enjoyable?  Do any of us ever want to attempt such a thing again?

YES!  And another YES!  In fact, on the long car ride home, there were texts flying back and forth vehicle to vehicle and state to state (it's about a 14 hour drive for most of us) proposing we do a huge group trip every 2-3 years.  Possible future vacation destinations were tossed around; from mountains to beaches to National Parks.

But back to this current vacation.  I tried to walk the beach every day.  Sometimes at low tide, sometimes at high tide.  Sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening.

And it seemed that I couldn't take a beach walk without coming back with shells in my pocket.  Which brought to mind the lyric "rally round the family with a pocket full of shells".  Different context, different shells from the song mentioned above, but it sorta fit.  Lotta family.  Lotta shells.

some of my favorite shells are teeny, but intact

In addition to finding shells, there was 

--swimming, both in the ocean and several of the resort's pools (most of which I did not have my phone for, so very few swimming pictures)

9 grandkids together on the beach!, 

Buck, K3 holding Lucky, Toad holding Octavia, Rascal, Tractor (front), Faline (mostly hidden by Tractor), Sixlet

--kite flying; tiny kites that hardly show up in the pictures although we watched from our balcony other people (adults) flying huge shark and squid kites

--group dinners made in one or both of the suites we stayed in (one 3-bedroom suite and one 2-bedroom suite).  Smoked brisket and pulled pork (the first night, brought from home, smoked by DH), spaghetti and meatballs, make-your-own taco bar (Tuesday!), and white chicken chili with toasted baguettes (which oddly enough wasn't the wrong temp/flavor for a hot humid southern evening and was heartily enjoyed by all ages).

waiting to be called to dinner

waiting again

--kids babysat by aunts and uncles while sets of parents each had a turn at a childess afternoon or evening out.

DD1 in charge of (niece) Octavia

 --general shenanigans

Monkeys on the luggage cart

"Hiding"

Can a 2 year old fit in the cabinet?

Yes, yes he can.

--and even a succesful family picture (which I decided was too many tiny faces to try to make them unrecognizable/anonymous so I could share it online and abide by my own no recognizable faces blog photos rule).  I have plans for that family picture to be enlarged and printed on a canvas to hang on my living room wall before the year is through. (We also have not had a 'real' family picture since before DS1 graduated high school in 2007.  Its been a crazy past 20 years.)

In addition to our mass activities, some family members formed various smaller groups for various outings (I didn't go, so didn't get pictures) such as:

• miniature golf 
• go-carts 
• an aquarium visit 
• a driving range
• a nature preserve 

And while they were gone to those things, I enjoyed some peace and quiet, reading or knitting or beach walking or sitting on the edge of the water just feeling the waves and thinking; and recharging my (introvert) batteries for more group fun!

Aunt L's Cookies

 For over three decades, there has been an annual family reunion on DH's father's side of the family.  And, until the last six or so (because she's in her late 70s now), one of his aunts always made and brought hundreds of cookies to share.  They are simply known as "Aunt L's Cookies" because nobody else in the family makes them.

(And because she made literally hundreds of them, nobody else ever brought cookies to the family reunions, LOL.)

Thankfully, around 2010, someone compiled a family cookbook (of submitted favorite recipes), and the recipes for both of Aunt L's special cookies was included.  So, once in a very long while, I have made them myself for eating at home with my family.

It's been a long, long time though, since I had made either one.  Since this year I am trying to make lots of different cookies and not the same old three or four recipes over and over again, I thought what a great excuse to take the extra time that Aunt L's cookie recipes require and make those.

First up, her Magic Peanut Butter/Chocolate cookies

Dough:

 1 1/2 cups flour

1/2 cup cocoa

1/2 tsp baking soda

Combine above ingredients and set aside.

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup softened margarine (or butter)

1/4 cup peanut butter

Beat these together until fluffy, then add:

1 tsp vanilla

1 egg

Then add flour mixture and mix thoroughly, then set aside.

Make the filling:

3/4 cup peanut butter

3/4 cup powdered sugar

Blend well

To make the cookies, divide both filling and dough into 32 balls each.  Assemble by flattening a chocolate dough ball in the palm of your hand and place a filling ball on top, wrappinng the chocolate dough around the filling.  Place on a cookie sheet and flatten with the bottom of a glass dipped in sugar.  Bake at 375 degrees for 7-8 minutes.

the magic peanut butter surprise inside

Then, her Orange Chocolate Chip cookies

1 cup shortening

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 egg

2 Tbsp orange juice

1 Tbsp orange zest

2 3/4 cups flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup chocolate chips, chopped

Cream shortening and sugars; add egg, orange zest and juice.  Sift flour, baking soda and salt, then add to creamed mixture.  Add chocolate chips.  Shape into a log and roll in waxed paper.  Refrigerate several hours or overnight.  Slice 1/4" thick and bake for 10-12 minutes in a 350 degree oven.

my slicing was a little generous on the width

(These are much easier to slice cleanly if you chop the chocolate chips.  If you get distracted [ahem, me, in the past, not this time!] and forget to chop them, it still works, just doesn't slice as easily.)

Friday Randomness

 It's been a long (but short; fast, busy) week.  

We've had some hot humid weather, several rainstorms, and a 15-ish hour power outage.  

We had Faline, Buck and Sixlet for about 7 straight hours on Saturday while DD1, Honorary Son and his parents went to a Detroit Tigers game.

Visiting Jedi, Crockett and Tubbs

Buck and Sixlet in the sprinkler

Faline and Sixlet lying out to dry in the sun

 We went out to eat several times, which is unlike us, but happened to work out that way.  Once was meeting Honorary Son and DD1 to hand off their kids after the baseball game. The other due to being too dang hot to cook on the stove or the oven and the one meat store that I can actually eat their lunchmeat (without my body protesting) being all out of said meat when I went to buy it in order to make (the planned) sub sandwiches for that night's dinner.

I rode bareback (the first time in over a decade for me on any horse) on the Little Black Mare when one of her scheduled training days ended up being a light but steady rain and I didn't want to get my saddle soaking wet.  I'm fairly certain she's never been ridden bareback before, but she adapted to it well.  It felt weird for me too, and the first five minutes I was trying to get my own bearings, but after that I'd say we both enjoyed it (minus the uptick in rain in our faces that made me cut the session short after a bit).

I rode a lot (2-3 horses) on days that the weather was cooperative and only one horse or even zero horses on days that it wasn't.  Like the day that was 70-something degrees and 90+ percent humidity at sunrise and I was heat sick practically from the moment I got out of bed.  No riding that day; I didn't want to pass out and fall off a horse.  Instead, that day, I did only necessary horse chores (feeding, turnout, cleaning stalls bringing in, feeding) and slowly with frequent breaks.  Well, plus cooking and laundry, and housekeeping (but you know, depending on who you talk to, those don't count as work 😠).  

K3 came over on a not-rainy morning (original day had been rescheduled due to weather) to ride Jedi with my helpful instruction. (aka had a riding lesson).  They are starting to mesh a bit more as she learns the similarities and differences between him and the LBM (who she rode off and on the past two summers) and he tests her a bit to determine if she's the boss or if he is (and, with my guidance, she wins those challenges). 

pre-ride, heading in for grooming and saddling

post-ride, rolling his sweaty itches away

I assembled the new 'bistro set' I had purchased on sale on-line at Mother's Day (which had been super delayed in shipping) and installed it in its intended spot on the deck.  Even gave DH a haircut out there while he sat on one of the chairs ("It's very skinny.  And upright.")  Given that all of our other outdoor seating is extra wide and tends to make you sit slightly reclined (which I find uncomfortable), yes, yes it is skinny and upright.  It's just what I wanted for that space.  That space happens to be the 8-10 feet between the sliding door in the dining room and the sliding door in the living room and needs something that doesn't sprawl too far onto the deck or too close to either door.  Skinny.  And upright.

DH got my little tiller running--it had needed a tune-up--and between the two of us we got all the tilling done between rows of vegetables in the six planted sections of the garden.  I hand weeded around the tomato plants in four of the seven rows of tomatoes (and then a storm hit).

Two of the weeded rows,

unfortunately the dang deer have bitten off about half of those plants.

I found a nice rock in the garden, which I had to take a picture of so I could text the pun to DD2, whom I knew would get it.  Geology and puns, two of my favorite things.  Which are also two of her favorite things.

A gneiss rock.

(Nice, ha ha, get it?)

DH (finally) added fill dirt, brought to level, and put the pavers back into the section of the front walkway that we'd had to trench under (and thus removed the pavers from) back in 2022 when running the new underground electric line from the main box on the front of the garage to the barn (and then to his shop).  Those pavers have been piled in the middle of that spot ever since, with weeds growing up around them and making it difficult to keep the walkway weed-free or snow-free for almost four years now.  So I was really happy that he took it upon himself to complete this task that I'd tried to tactfully remind him of once or twice a year.

 

Re-installed pavers! 

7 pavers long and 5 pavers wide.

Also thrilling (and lavish praise rendered), was that DH decided to use the weed whip to get the rest of the walkway totally weed-free and mostly edged.  Hooray!  It's been several years since the whole thing was cleaned up at once.

The peonies have been in bloom, and with the heat are wrapping up very quickly.  It's been nice to enjoy their cheerful pop of color and wonderful smell this week.

a bouquet of peonies and mock orange

Also blooming are the spiderwort

and my Louisiana Black Gamecock iris (which seems to bloom every other year for me).

On the stormy night that took out our power, DH and I sat out on the front porch after the wind had died down and the rain had left, and watched the sunset while we talked.  The Yarn Thief joined us for part of that time.

Later, after it was dark and we had gone to bed--with the front door open as well as all the windows to try to get a breeze through the stuffy, very warm (80-ish degree) house--we were woke up by what sounded like something hitting the screen door at the bottom of the stairs (bedrooms are upstairs, the flight of stairs lines up with the front door, great for getting airflow into the bedroom area on a summer night).  

DH grabbed a flashlight and looked down the stairs, to see a raccoon on the porch right at the door. 

Well, that wouldn't do, we'd been trying to catch a lingering pesky raccoon in our traps with no luck lately.  So I hopped out of bed too, to be the flashlight bearer while DH grabbed the .22 and we went out coon hunting!  

The coon had fled up a cottonwood tree between the house and a corner of the garden when it heard us coming down the stairs and out the front door.  With me standing near the trunk shining the flashlight up into the tree, and DH a few feet out from me, we were able to spot that raccoon and get a successful shot that brought it crashing down (sounded like, in the dark, as it bounced off tree branches, it was going to land on my head!) to the ground.  Luckily it was not on my head, but about 6 feet from me.  So that was an exciting evening and night!

I hope this coming week is a little milder with both more catching up on tasks and a bit more time for sitting and relaxing.  And uninterrupted sleep!

The Sun Comes Up

 

And the sun goes down

What goes on in between?

This is kind of a deep thought type of post.  Soul searching?  Navel gazing?  What do you do with your day?  Day after day after day. . . 

We strive to put ourselves where we want to be, but then when we get there, is it actually where we want to be?  Is it what we thought it would be?  Do we want it afterall?

In my head, I can hear John Mellancamp singing Paper in Fire: 

"She had a dream
And boy it was a good one
So she chased after her dream
With much desire
But when she get too close
To her expectations
Well the dream burned up
Like paper in fire"

On the surface, I'm living my dream: Husband, Kids (and grandkids), Horse Farm. . .  

My big three goals I set way back in high school, and I've met them all.  Yes, I am living my dream.

Unless you look below the surface.  Then, well, they haven't been quite fulfilled in the way I had envisioned.  I never expected life to be easy.  I was choosing some lofty things, some unconventional (for the time) things, and I was not starting with a silver spoon.  I knew I was going to have to work and work hard.

In hindsight, I didn't know it was going to take so long to get to the 'work for myself, own my own horse farm, run my own boarding and training business' part.  When I decided to have children, and lots of them (as four was considered in the 1980s, and depending on who you talk to now still is) I knew I would have to put off a lot of the horse business part until my kids were grown up.  Having a husband whose career was our bread and butter, and whose career required a lot of travel on his part, meant that my career couldn't require me to be unavailable to my children on evenings and weekends (when childcare is difficult to get, let alone prohibitively expensive).  So, showing horses (as I had all through my teen years) was not going to be happening.  Which meant training horses for other people wasn't really going to be a viable option either.  Okay, I can deal with that.  I can wait; I'll do what I can in the interim and I'll hit the ground running when my kids are grown up.

And then, the kids were grown up.  The time I'd been waiting for, had watched with growing excitement draw nearer and near, had come.  At least, in my plans it had.  Not so much, apparently, in what other people had planned for me.  They loved me in my (almost) always available to them position.  Me, I was more than ready to shed that for phase 2: my life full time with horses.

In the ten plus years since DD2 graduated from high school--my original expected emancipation from people caretaking date--it seems like every time I try to take a step away from my past role and into my highly anticipated second career things come up to keep me from making the change.  Or, at least, make the change extremely difficult to keep up with.

So many times I have felt like shouting WTF People!?! Get with the program!  Get out of my way!  Behave!  Be mature!  Be responsible for yourself (and your offspring)!  Leave me alone; I've paid my mama dues, I faithfully raised all the ones I birthed to adulthood.  Go!  Go!  Get with the program, take care of yourself! It's my turn now!  My time is supposed to be my own and nobody is supposed to try to make me feel bad about wanting it.

I look at all the tasks that fall into the "Kris/Mom/Grandma basket", some I've willingly put there and others I wish other people hadn't assigned to me.  Which do I want to do?  Which am I needed to do?  Which should I do? Which won't cause the world to come to an end if I don't do them?

Boundaries.  Sometimes I want to erect them like a stockade fence around me.  Just because I'm trying to be self-employed, which in a way means I get to set my own schedule, doesn't mean I'm available whenever someone else wants something from me.  I know dang well that if I was punching a time clock at a business not owned by me, if I had to report for duty on certain hours on prescribed days to a location not at this little place here, people wouldn't even consider asking me to do things for them during 'work' hours Monday through Friday.  Just because I don't leave my own property to 'go to' work doesn't mean people should assume I can drop things at their whim, let alone expect me to do so.

All these things people want me to do for them.  A lot are things I did for them, have done for them, but really, that time has passed and they need to step up and take those tasks on for themselves.  Like finding themselves a list of non-emergency babysitters for their children (my grandkids) that doesn't begin and end with Grandma (me).  Or, in the case of DH, taking back some of the household tasks he used to do before his job got so demanding and took him away from home so much of his waking hours every week.  His job isn't like that anymore.  And while his household task skills are rusty and he has forgotten a lot of them, they are still there.  They need to be brought out, dusted off, oiled up and put back into practice.  Because I can't continue to do them all even though I have for a long, long time.  Not if I'm operating my own business.  Ie. working, having a career, like has been his excuse (and at times my grown up childrens' excuse) why I must be the one to carry that particular load that needs to be done in a timely fashion.

*Deep cleansing breath*

This, truly, falls into the 'training of people' category.  I love training horses, even though it takes time and requires lots of patience and repetition and, often, readjusting the timeline for your goals.  Training people, teaching them to honor my time and my boundaries, I  don't love so much.  I don't have the same tolerance and patience for repeating things over and over waiting for people to learn it as I do horses.  I mean, people, afterall, speak the same language and (for the most part) think the same way as I do.  It's not like with an animal, a horse, where you have to allow for the language barrier and the totally different way their brain works and know that you can't just say "this is the way we do it now" and expect the animal to understand and instantly follow the newly stated procedure.

Ugh.  Training people is a pain in the patootie.  Some days it feels like I'll be stuck doing ever more people training for the rest of my life and won't be able get to the amount of horse training I would rather spend my time at.

The sun comes up.

And the sun goes down.

Busy, Busy, Family-full Weekend

 Last weekend was not our ordinary Let's Tackle a Project weekend.  Rather, we were busy all three days of the holiday weekend, yet got zero projects done and even had a hard time fitting in the normal daily/weekend tasks like mowing the lawn, horse chores, chicken care, etc.  

On Saturday we spent several hours in the middle of the day having a Meet The Parents lunch with DD2 and her boyfriend (whom I've been mute on for nearly a year that I've known about him, biding my time and waiting to see how things go before giving him an official name and presence on my blog).  He'd met DH and I last summer, and she had met his parents last summer, when the two of them decided they were going to take their relationship from talking and getting to know each other to being an official dating couple.  Since then he's been to our family functions and she's been to his, but parents had not been introduced to each other.  His family lives a little over an hour from ours.

DD2 and boyfriend will soon be moving together near the very bottom edge of Michigan; at the beginning of the year he took a job across the border in Ohio (after, in late 2025, government funding  to the research job he'd been doinggot axed and thus he too got axed).  As their relationship progressed, they decided to look for housing together closer to his job and DD2 started looking into transferring from the veterinarian office she works at to another of the same 'chain' that is also just across the border in Ohio.  This spring she was made aware of an upcoming opening in the office down there, went for an interview, and was offered the job to start as soon as she moved.  They have signed a lease on a brand new modular home and will be moving in mid-June.  Right after that, DD2 will start at the new to her vet office.

So, while it wasn't exactly an 'our kids are engaged to get married, we should meet each other' Meet The Parents, it sort of had that tone.  And it was very nice to meet his parents; they are friendly people and I can definitely see that he gets his ebullience from his mom while his dad seems to be the stereotypical quiet engineer type (his father and DH, while they haven't worked together, have worked for the same gigantic employer and even in some of the same locations but at different times in different programs).

That was our 'family Saturday'.

Then, on Sunday, K3 got confirmed into the church. 

 Between her 'examination' during the Bible Study hour, the Rite of Confirmation and taking her first communion during the church service, and then her open house afterward at DS1 and Two-ee's house, DH and I were gone from home about seven hours.  Which meant that when I was home I was cramming in stall cleaning and other horse related chores.

Unfortunately it poured rain for most of K3's open house, which made DS1 very glad that Two-ee's had talked him into renting a party tent for the event.  The guests, after dashing from their vehicles to the tent in the backyard, all stayed dry.  DS1 had borrowed our pig roaster to use as a super sized grill for the hamburgers and hot dogs being served, which was in danger of having the fire put out by the downpour, but he and DH were able to construct a makeshift roof for it with some 2x4s, cinderblocks, rope and a big tarp. The two of them got very wet in the process.

The kids, of course, didn't stay dry long as they delighted in running around in the rain outside of the tent as soon as their parents' backs were turned.  Sixlet in particular was fascinated by being rained on; in his just over two years of life he'd not yet been allowed to play in the rain, nor had he ever had a shower (just baths), and at first he was confused by how he could be getting so wet from above.

Of course his brother had to join in the fun, much to DD1's consternation (they were supposed to be going to Honorary Son's parents' house afterward) and also get soaking wet.

That was our 'family Sunday'

Monday DH and I went to the village for the big Memorial Day parade, which is at noon but if you want to get a spot on the edge of the street you really want to be there with your chairs right around 11:00.  We like to sit near the front of the (very small) library, which has a couple of shade trees and also easy access to the annual library book sale (which is by donation).  I didn't find very many books I was interested in this year and only purchased three, one of which was this cool Richard Scarry board book.

With the exception of DD2, who had to work a half day on Memorial Day (who makes a vet appointment for their cat or dog on Memorial Day??), all my kids made it to the parade this year.  The small cousins sat in front, jostling for position when candy was being thrown, and heartwarmingly sharing with each other when one would come up emptyhanded on the latest treat influx.

L to R: Sixlet, Rascal, Tractor, Faline 

(Buck was sitting in a chair and doesn't show in the photo,

Lucky was in a stroller just out of sight also)

After the parade, they dispersed to different places for lunch, with the exception of DS2, Surprise and Lucky, who came to our house.  DH had put a brisket in the smoker before heading to the parade, DS2 brought a brisket with him that he had begun the evening before at his own home, and we visited while the two briskets finished 'cooking'.  Then, in time for dinner, DS1 and family came, bringing leftover open house side dishes, DD1 and family came with a giant tub of cottage cheese, and DD2 came from her work shift bringing rhubarb muffins and a rhubarb crisp she had made the night before.  We all sat down to tables in the backyard (gorgeously sunny weather that day) and enjoyed a potluck style meal featuring two flavors of smoked brisket.

That was our 'family Monday'.  And I was exhausted!