Knitting Update, January

I'm not sure if there is a Yarn Along to link to for 2020 (there never was one posted in Dec. 2019), but for my own sake of continuity, I'm going to still post a monthly update of what I've been knitting and reading.

This month, there are lots of finished Christmas presents to show!  Plus, a half-finished pair of ankle socks that are my current project.

First, the finishes:

Three Christmas sweaters for three grandkids. 

K3

Toad

Rascal

Rascal modeling his

The winter trees socks for DD2.

A knubbelchen for Rascal (made from scrap sock yarn)

An intertwining cabled diamonds headband/ear warmer for Surprise

I forgot to take a picture of the No Mistaking Fibonacci's scarf  that I made for K2 in Clemson orange and purple.  If you follow the Ravelry link, imagine the picture with purple where the blue is and orange in place of the yellow, and you'll know exactly what the one I made looks like.

Whew!  That's a lot of knit presents.


I didn't knit for three whole days after I finished the last one.  And then I was going through knitting withdrawal, so I cast on for my current project--a ankle length pair of Meandering socks in very bright sunny yellow (Knit Picks Stroll in Dandelion).  I've all ready finished the first one, and have the second one started.

I would like to make myself several pair of ankle socks in 2020, all using yarn that I have in my stash.  (Another goal for this year is to not buy any new yarn; my stash has gotten a little out of control).

Since my Yarn Along post in December, I read just one book:  And All the Phases of the Moon by Judy Reene Singer.  Like her other books, this one just sucks you in and is hard to put down.

I've just started (picked it up at the library yesterday), the latest in the Elm Creek Quilts series; The Christmas Boutique by Jennifer Chiaverini.  It's been a long time since the author wrote a new novel in this series and I can't wait to revisit old friends in her characters.

Well, Here We Are

It's another new year.  The internet abounds with enthusiasm, and optimism, and goals for 2020.

Meanwhile, I'm feeling like I barely made it through the challenges of last year (literally), and I fear they might still be stalking me, going to jump out and grab me by the throat any minute now.

Did I make any resolutions?  No.
Did I make any goals? No.
Am I filled with enthusiasm and optimism?  No. 

In fact, I've asked DH several times "This year is going to be better, right?"  I quickly hush him when he says "Well, it can't get any worse than last year," because that is what he said at the beginning of 2019 about 2018. And guess what--2019 apparently took that as a personal challenge, because it was hands down the most difficult year I've been through.  Honestly it was like the challenges of 2018 (and carryover of 2017's challenges) just kept rolling and snowballing and picking up new weird offshoots to trip us up.

So, this January, I'm desperately wishing for good in 2020.  But, at the same time, I'm also contemplating things like:

• Is it possible to go for a mental health stay (and have your health insurance cover it) and not be required to take meds or attend group therapy?  How about talking to a doctor/therapist, and having them require your family to make changes that will stop making your life so flipping difficult before they allow you to return home?
• Can you get admitted immediately if you're not suicidal or threatening to harm anyone else?  (Seriously, this is how overwhelmed 2019 has made me--I would never kill myself or someone else but I do wish to just run away, disappear from all of this and these people)
• How to adopt the attitude of "I'm not helping anyone else make their life easier if it makes mine harder" and get away with it.  People are good at heaping guilt on me for being unwilling to 'do this little thing' and so I take on ten thousand little things, plus some big things, all of which really belong to other adults and it's breaking me into bits.
• How to find a part time job in addition to the job I all ready have so that some of the financial stress is eased, and how to fit that new job in on top of the existing job plus home-life stuff (you know, housekeeping, cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, taking on the stuff DH's job no longer allows him time to do, etc, etc). without pushing myself over the edge that I'm teetering by my toenails on.

Rather than goals or resolutions, I really have some wishes for 2020.  I wish

1. DH's job would get back to the point where he only works 40 (or even occasionally 50) hours per week.  And when he's home for the night (and weekend), there's no texting, emails, phone calls or overseas conference calls allowed that are related to his job.  That when we make plans, they are written in stone and uninterruptible.  That includes what time dinner is each night, and that we can eat it together.
2. DD1 would finally, now that she and Honorary Son have purchased a house of their own, get all her stuff out of my house.  It would be great to have that 1/3 of my basement back, not to mention the miscellaneous stuff of hers still in her childhood bedroom.
3. DD2 will get a full time job SOON (Alaska didn't work out for her; we got a very panicked phone call back in November and flew her home/shipped her car and belongings after a hectic 3 days of research and price comparisons; not to mention putting several thousand dollars in charges on our Visa card).  She has been unemployed and living at home for about seven weeks now.  DH co-signed her student loans, so guess who will be expected to make the payments on those when the money in her checking account runs out this month. . .  He and I didn't work so hard to get our great credit rating just to have it ruined by being associated with delinquent student loans.
4. K2 will finally be mentally stable and not abuse any drugs (prescription or otherwise) so that DH and I can finally stop worrying about her, our son and grandchildren.  She seems to have made some progress in that area in recent months, but slides just enough often enough that I'm still holding my breath constantly.
5. Some of the put-off projects/household maintenance of the last several years will finally get done (requiring DH to have time, and us to have $$ to do them).
6. That this year, DH and I can go on a vacation together than has nothing to do with family members or his job. It's been two years since that happened.  Way too long, in light of all the crap we've had to live through in that time without a break from it all.
7. That I can get back to posting on this blog regularly about good and interesting things.  Or at least, things that might be helpful to others.  I have a few ideas of new topics (like "Life as a Engineer's Wife", "Dressaging an Arabian", "Guiding Adult Offspring". . . ) as well as getting back to posting about the gardening, cooking/baking, sewing, knitting, homesteading like I used to half a decade ago.
8. That we finally replace our laptop computer, (the only one I have access to), the one that has intermittently had nonworking keys for two years now, and whose screen has been blank for almost four months, requiring it to be attached to the TV (we own just one television) with an HDMI cable in order to be used at all (soooo convenient for paying bills online or doing any sort of computer related thing you want some privacy in--writing blog posts maybe?  Or researching surprise birthday or Christmas gifts?)

Please, 2020, be good to me.