Frugal February #22: Kid's Birthday Parties

Here's something that must be a secret, because it doesn't seem like too many modern parents know about it.  Kids' birthday parties don't have to be extravagant or expensive.  You don't have to invite dozens of guests.  You don't have to rent a place.  You don't even have to buy a big fancy cake.

Nope.  Birthday parties are the ultimate DIY.  Especially for younger children who are just as happy with a cake Mom baked and wrote 'Happy Birthday Junior' on and a pinata hanging from the tree in the backyard.  Even older kids can have fun parties that don't require noisy play places with greasy pizza or dark rooms with vests and laser guns.  Party favors don't have to--and shouldn't--break the bank.  If I'm giving out goodie bags valued at twice as much as the presents the guests are bringing Junior, I'm doing something wrong.

Here are some ideas for children's birthday parties, based on what my four kids have had through the years.  If you have a house with a big room or a garage, or in nice weather, a yard, you're all set for space.  No need to rent one.  Remember, for children's parties, the idea is for everyone to have a good time and not go home crying.  The idea is not to have the biggest, most talked about party in the town.  A party doesn't need to be extravagant to be enjoyable.  It doesn't need to cost you an arm and a leg.  Be creative, be frugal.  Use what you have.  For several years we owned a pony.  At DD2's fifth birthday party, we used him to give pony rides.  We borrowed a Polaroid camera, and each guest went home with a photograph of themself on the pony.  Did they feel disappointed they didn't get pizza, arcade games and a giant ball pit?  Not hardly.

How Many Guests?
As a rule of thumb, little kids don't need to have parties with more guests than however many years old they are.  It gets too overwhelming for them. 

• So, for a three year old, three guests is more than adequate.  Of course, when doing your invitations, keep in mind that not everyone who is invited will be able to attend.  You might want to draw up a guest list of 5-6 preschoolers, with the hopes that 3 of them will actually show up. 
• After elementary school, that number doesn't necessarily increase in direction correlation with age (age in years = number of guests).  In fact, for the middle school years, ten to twelve guests is too many.  Too big of a chance for cliques to form, with ensuing hurt feelings (especially if you are having a party for girls).  A handful to seven or eight guests in attendance is plenty.  Actually, for middle school girls, a sleepover with a total of three to five real good friends works best.  They'll have fun just listening to music, doing each other's hair, giving make-overs, and watching movies.
• Teens go either way.  Small and intimate best buddies parties work well, but then again, if you're brave and want to throw something co-ed, a large crowd actually works better (as long as you have enough chaperone eyeballs to keep track of them all!) than eight to twelve party goers.

What Do I Do With Them?
Okay, now that we've established population density, let's talk party games!  First, are you having an indoor party or an outdoor one?  Indoors, you will, of necessity, want to keep things calmer and quieter.

•  Pin the tail on the donkey (monkey, dinosaur, cat, whatever animal you can recognizably draw on a big sheet of paper tacked to the wall) is a good game from preschool thorough about age seven. 
• Dropping clothes pins from waist height into a wide-mouth jar works up to age 12 or so. Believe it or not, 12 year olds will find it kind of cool because they probably haven't ever seen this game before.  You can also use a narrower mouthed jar to increase the difficulty.
• Cotton ball on a wooden spoon and speed walked from one end of the room to another will work indoors for preschool through middle schoolers. 
• Don't forget the classic musical chairs.  This is also good for a wide range of ages.
• Telephone.  You know, the game where you set in a circle and the 'leader' whispers a sentence or phrase into the ear of the person on their right, who then whispers what they heard (or thought they heard) into the ear of the person on their right, and so on around the circle until the last person says it out loud, and it's so far off from what the leader said (who then tells everyone what it started as) that everyone laughs and wants to do it again with a different leader that time.
• Memory--collect about a dozen small items and put them on a cookie sheet or in a baking dish.  Cover it with a towel.  Set all the kids in front of it, then uncover for a minute or two.  At the end of that time, put the towel back on.  Now give each kid a piece of paper and a pencil.  Give them 3-5 minutes to write down as many of those items as they can remember.  This works with all kids old enough to write (even teens, increase difficulty by increasing number of items).
• For older kids, write the first, middle, and last name of the birthday person on a sheet of paper for each guest.  Give them 5 minutes to see how many words they can make using only the letters of the birthday boy or girl's name, and the letters can only be used as many times as they appear in the name.
• You can also do creative activities.  Let the kids decorate their own goodie bags--use plain brown paper lunch sacks and markers, stickers, stencils, glue, glitter, etc. 
• Bake some sugar cookies ahead of time, and let the kids frost and decorate them. 
• Or instead of serving cake, bake cupcakes and let each guest frost and decorate (then eat with ice cream!) their own.

Outdoors, the possibilities are only limited by what you have on your property. 

• A pinata.  In my opinion, even adults like whacking a pinata and releasing the candy held inside.  So this one is for all ages old enough to swing a stick and stay on their feet while blindfolded.
• Duck Duck Goose for preschool through first grade or so.
• Wheelbarrow races
• potato sack races
• three-legged races--even teens will do these! 
• Get two suitcases or duffel bags and fill each one with adult sized pants, shirt, belt, hat, tie, shoes, etc.  Make sure each suitcase has an identical number of items.  Then split the guests into two teams and it's a dress-up relay!  First person on each team must run to the suitcase, put on all items in the suitcase, then once dressed, take all items back off again, put them back into the suitcase, and run it to the next person on their team. Next person runs to the original location of the suitcase, puts on the clothes, takes off the clothes, runs the suitcase to the third person, and so on.  First team done wins. 
• Have a scavenger hunt, either using cell phones to take pictures of the items, or give each team a bucket to retrieve items with.  We've hunted for things like a dandelion, a chicken (or bird) feather, a pink rock, a maple leaf, a pine cone, a stick, an apple, a purple flower, a rock the size of your fist. . . try to have at least six items for younger guests and a dozen for older kids.
• Send them on a wild goose chase: write 5-6 coded messages (provide a decoder key) and stick them in various locations around your property.  Each message will send them to the next location for the next message.  Final message could tell them to head to the kitchen or picnic table for cake & ice cream, or be a riddle for them to solve for a prize.
• For younger kids with summer birthdays, sprinkler parties are a hit. 
• For older kids, have the party in the evening and light a campfire they can roast hot dogs and marshmallows over. 
• For teens, a bonfire is popular.  So is playing tag or hide and seek in the dark.  (Keep an eye on those kids, lol, you may need to invite some chaperones along with the guests).
• This one won't be possible for most people, but, if you live way out there, and check first with parents to make sure it's okay with everyone, chaperoned target shooting goes over really well with the teenaged set.  We've done both skeet shooting (for the experienced or more brave), and stationary target shooting (for beginners or those who are shy).  A thirteen year old girl who explodes a jug filled with water will go home and brag to her dad and her brothers.  I guarantee she'll never forget that one party she went to where she got to shoot a .22 (or a 20 gauge!).

What About Party Favors?
Party favors, I confess to phasing out in the middle school age.  In my opinion, at that age it's more about getting together and having fun than taking home trinkets. By age ten or so, kids aren't so enamored by little plastic gifts.  Some things older kids do like would be post-it pads, nail polish (for girls, of course), glitter pens and markers, gum and small chocolate candies. Boys like bouncy balls, hacky sacks, decks of cards,  maybe a matchbox car. For younger kids, we've given pocket-sized notepads or drawing pads, stickers, cool pencils (you know, not plain yellow or orange ones, but brightly colored and wildly patterned ones), gum, etc.


Think outside the box.  Don't look in the yellow pages for party facilities.  Instead, look in your photo albums and remember the sorts of things you did at parties when you were growing up.  If you really are having a creative block and can't think of anything, go ahead and search the internet for ideas.  Just don't get sucked into signing up for a $12 per guest party package at a place that gives you a headache from all the screaming kids.  My goodness, for a quarter of that  (or even less!) you can give your child a great, fun, party in the peace of your own home.  And you'll save gas by not having to drive there and back, lol.