Recurring Dreams

For a while now, actually several years, I've been having weird dreams roughly once every month or two that, when I look at them as a group, all have the same or very similar theme.  They aren't happy dreams, which in itself is troubling (who likes to have disturbing dreams?  Especially regularly.)  I typically wake up from dreams like this feeling stressed, emotionally spent and unsettled for many hours afterward.

I don't get into a whole lot of superstitious stuff, or delve much into Tao, energy, aura, etc kinds of things.  However, I do believe our dreams are somewhat indicative of what our subconscious mind is concerned with.  So, to have recurring dreams on a theme is causing me to take a look at my life in general.

According to my dreams, I seem to be feeling:

--confined by family (typically in any one dream there are many members of my immediate or extended family overwhelming me with either their presence or their demands/needed care)

--hunted??? (often a feeling of being followed or having to stay one step ahead of someone trying to get to me)

--deserted by my husband (he often is in the beginning of one of these dreams, but somehow disappears leaving me to fend for myself or otherwise get myself out of a situation I don't want to be in.)

--dropped into situations without my consent (hosting large gatherings where people just start showing up unexpectedly, moving to/buying a new house I had never seen or even known we were about to move, having to share my house with one of DH's sisters and her husband and offspring because they couldn't afford their own home any longer, etc)

--having to fix things I know very little about while people around me pass by, or make demands on my time and attention, without offering me any assistance in my very vital and on a deadline repair efforts


I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of this is wrapped up in DH's ongoing long work hours and demands of his job that take him mentally away even when he is physically with me.  Also the revolving door we seem to have with our kids moving out, moving back in, moving out, maybe moving back in again for a while, or another kid moving back in simultaneously or immediately after one of their siblings moves out. . . or having the care and raising of the grandkids unexpectedly for weeks/a month+ at a time.  Add to that the fact that these moving back ins are more like having roommates than being one nuclear family again with the parents determining the rules, division of labor, what goes where, and schedule.  (I've never had a roommate--I went from my parents' house to having my own house and power, so this is really difficult for me.)  Plus the fact that we are still financially supporting several of our offspring in one way or another. . . cell phones, car insurance (and repairs), money towards unexpected expenses while still in college. 

And most of all my increasing need for my own space/empty nest/life.  I know that the longer this goes on, the more my children get into their twenties and seem to be less self- and financially sufficient than I was at the same age, the more often these dreams come.  I wonder if this is the way the rest of my life is going to go; if they will never actually grow up and leave me to my own pursuits (and monetary plans).  Because if so, honestly, this isn't what I want.  It isn't the way I raised them; it isn't the the plans DH and I had for the second half of our lives.

That's just our own descendants.  I can't even start on our own brothers and sisters and how their life choices affect us now and again. . .