I've been thinking lately, as I shift through pieces of conversation in my mind, and recall the random comments DH made through the years, that there's a definite reason my husband stands out compared to his siblings (and even many of his cousins on both sides of the family). The reason is all the people, in his growing-up years, who through their words and actions, saved him. Saved him from a settle-for life, saved him from the poverty thinking of his youth, saved him from not knowing--let alone realizing--what his potential was.
There was, of course, the grandma who loved him dearly. Dare I even say he may have been her favorite grandchild of the dozen and a half or so she had? This is the woman who was there for him, and who encouraged him to continue his education and even gave him funds to do so (in the form of a personal loan, smart woman, that not only gave him needed money for books and tuition and housing that his grants and federal student loan didn't cover, but taught him that he had a responsibility to repay that debt rather than getting a hand out). She even loaned him money to buy an engagement ring for me when he told her he was thinking of proposing. Not a lot, nothing extravagant, but enough to get the job done (she thought I was good for him).
There was also the neighbor family, one of whose sons DH was good friends with. They took him to church with them, they took him on vacations with them, they included him in family events and gave him an example of a home where the parents loved each other and worked together to raise their children. They didn't have an extravagant lifestyle, but rather showed him how to make the most of enough rather than pining for more.
There was the high school teacher who introduced him to the subject of engineering, because DH loved math and had an aptitude for it. He encouraged DH to look further into what engineering was, and all the types of engineering there is, and by this opened the world to him. DH went on to study engineering, loves engineering, and has made a successful career of engineering. Without that teacher to point him that way though, he very likely would have ended up laboring in construction or a factory or shop job like a majority of the men in his family. Not that those are bad things, but engineering has offered him so much more. He does construction for fun, rather than because he has to in order to pay the bills. (He also works all year, rather than half the year and then drawing unemployment the other half in an endless cycle of have and have not that is prevalent in more than a few of his extended family). His engineering career has also afforded him lots of travel opportunities as well as the access to ever newer technology! He loves to see new places and he sure does get excited about new technology.
There have been others, along the way, who have made positive impacts on him in other ways. Like the men who raised their children at the time we were raising ours, men who were involved with their kids and through their actions (and invitations for DH and our kids to join them in activities with their kids) showed DH (who really hadn't had an involved father) what to do as a dad.
And also the work peers who befriended him and guided him and even at times saved him in his career -- like the one who came into a leadership role in another department and years later saved DH from being a victim of headcount reduction in 2008 by insisting that DH transfer to his department, that DH was sorely needed there, and getting the transfer approved mere days before the axe would have fallen. It wasn't a position DH really wanted, nor was it in a convenient location to commute to, but it did save him from imminent job loss and it lead to the position DH then held for 14 years and the promotion he finally got in 2022.
The older we get, and the more years (and generations) I observe in his family, and the comments he himself makes about how he differs from them (in a good way), the more he and I both appreciate the efforts of the people who saved him. The little (and sometimes big) nudges they gave and examples they set for him. The way they, without him knowing at the time, molded him into the person he is.
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