Such a Simple Thing

 But it made me tear up.

You see, at church on Sunday, Two-EEs handed me an envelope.  Being December, I instinctively recognized it as a Christmas card before even opening it.  And, when I did open the envelope, there was a Christmas card inside.

And inside the Christmas card was a family photograph of DS1, Two-EEs, Cowgirl, K3, Toad, Rascal, Tractor and Octavia.  That's when my eyes teared up and I almost cried right there in church.  (Being as I'm historically not a public cryer, I sucked it up, but it wasn't easy.)

You see, I've never gotten a Christmas card from DS1's household before.  And not a family picture either.  Never.  He became a 'household' in 2012 when K3 was born and he added her and K2 to himself, making him now an offshoot family unit to my nuclear household.  Prior to that, he was still included in my Christmas card signatures even though, like DS2 at the time, he was living away and not under my roof.

But that household never gave out Christmas cards.  Never took family photos, let alone gave them to others.  And I didn't see it or know it at the time, but that was because of how chaotic and unpredictable and just plain dysfunctional that household was.  K2 was huge into decorating for Christmas.  Inside, and outside.  The blow up lawn decor and everything.  But even thinking about taking a photo with her, DS1 and their children?  No, didn't happen.  And sending out Christmas cards?  Also didn't happen.  Why, I don't know.  I'll never know.  Was it because of her mental struggles?  Her chronic disorganization and inability to concentrate?  Was it because of her drug use?  Don't know.  I do know if it ever occurred to DS1 to write Christmas cards or take a family photo for remembrance, the thought was soon erased by the crisis of the moment.

Makes me sad to think, now, of how crisis mode was a constant in that home.

And now it's not.  Not a constant, daily, way of life.  Now there's calm predictability and organization. Now there's positive things to count on.  There's sharing in responsibilities.  There's group things, and joyful smiles, and family photos.

It makes me cry.  Sad tears for the years that he and his kids (and K2) didn't have that.  All the hard years.  All the lost time that could have been, should have been, happier.

But it also makes me cry joyful tears.  He, and they, have it now.  May they always have it going forward.